12.28.01 - 7:08 pm

"live right now, just be yourself. doesnt matter if its good enough for someone else..."

how does one tell the difference between punishment and the tests of faith. how did job know that having his life go to shit was merely a test of will. how did he decide to stick prayer and faith out and not just go off brutally slaughter dozens of people and joins leagues with satan. god spoke to him. didnt he?

"well i guess god was a lot more demonstrative back when he flamboyantly parted the sea. now everybodys praying. dont pray on me. ..."

i miss andi. i miss love. i miss constant security and semi happiness. i miss confidence. i miss friends. i miss parties. i miss phone calls. i miss julia.

if a girl turns out to be the reason im so depressed remind me to laugh at myself.

im really tired. i think ill take a nap. do you think nathan o brien will mind i seduce his little sister?

"just absorbing the memories and thoughts of someone new nathan, thats all, i promise!"