04.03.02 - 2:01 am

some of these entries take two or three times to get going. some scrambled sentences are typed. then erased. replaced with another combination of saying the same thing. no wait, that wont work. delete. try again. say something different. appeal to the masses. make me sound smart. and then it finally comes together, i press enter and i give up. i dont care what ive written down, as long as its a reflection of what ive been thinking about and to tell you the honest to gods truth, this entry has thus so far become nothing but a incoherant rambling about completely irrelevant thoughts.

ok these two things spark my interests:

puppets and girls.

a) i wish puppets existed. it would be nice to have a new lifeform that was capable of communicating and acting like people but wasnt a person. robots would be interesting. dolphins that could talk would be cool. spiders that could communicate and tell jokes would be exciting. something different. the imagination is too grand of a thing to waste on not making it a reality. youd think whatever could be imagined could also be created.

for existence is merely the thought.

is it possible to have something exist that hasnt been imagined? are discoveries really discoveries or just the tangibility of thought? and i love the fact that destruction is the opposite of creation, but theyre both the same thing. to create destruction. a redundant sentence i think.

i think i was originally talking about puppets.

as for girls, i need to grasp the concept of the fact that girls dont like knowing guys like them. theyd rather be kept on their toes, always guessing. when a girl finally discovers that shes capable of having a guy, she gives up because its what....no fun anymore? is that what ive come to understand?

so in order to securely grasp a girl in your grip, pretend not to like her, but only drop little hints. the challenge of this is to try to compete with the multitude of other guys that want her who shes also eyeing and who are also dropping these subtle hints. so in affect, the more subtle the hint, the more games you play, the easier it is to get the girl. eh?

what if ive done the opposite already though? is it a reversable proceedure? if ive already told this girl ill probably end up marrying her, should i now proceed to ignore her if she contacts me? its a dilemma. or is this just a bunch of bullshit that only sorority girls and abercrombie and fitch models have to deal with?

today i walked around in a forest looking for poison oak.

so i could rub it on my arm.