04.21.02 - 12:22 am

im preaching. i am the quiet lowly voice of a canadian trying to tell the united states to be more careful where theyre dropping 2000 lb bombs. the things that proceed this statement is a rant. a rant that sounds holier than thou. remeniscent of someone of naivety. im an idiot. perhaps i have no idea what im talking about. perhaps i should keep my comments to myself. yes. i know. frustration leads to expression.

some people are miserable for a long time. they pretend to be happy around friends, family, strangers. they go home, they sit in their rooms, they watch tv, they write in journals. they speak of feeling like shit. that nothing ever goes right. that no one is genuine. they are confused. indecisive. hurt. depressed. sad. always. they are malignant. they are the puddles of water that form away from creeks and turn all the rocks underneath orange with rust and decay.

the thing that keeps people depressed is lack of motivation and indolence. people want something to happen for them.

most americans in general have woes that can be catogorized as trivial. insecurity is largely responsible. im not good enough. im not thin enough. im not beautiful. im not funny. people dont like me. i dont have any friends. my life sucks. everyone has these insecurities. sometimes theyre glimpses. sometimes they are more prevalent.

but for the most part, at least they dont have the searing discomfort of cancer and the knowledge that with each new tumor that forms, you may have to lose the ability of sight, hearing, balance or facial expression. not to mention the words "you may not live past the age of 20".

so youre life sucks. youre lonely. youre bored all the time. you dont think people like you. youre fat. youre ugly. if you want something done, do something about it. someone can listen to every piece of pain that comes from your voice and of your daily tribulations. they can offer advice. they can hold your hand. but does anything you do make your life better?

if not, make it happen. if your boyfriend makes you feel like a piece of garbage, tell him. if he cant handle the critique of his relationship skills, move on. if your spouse doesnt make you feel like the most vital part of his or her life and sacrifices themselves to making your life better, then find someone who does. happiness and joy arent found sitting alone in your room longing for something other than misery. happiness and self worth are found by moving. being active. finding things. looking at the rocks beneath your shoes. reading the words of an author. feeling the wind in your hair and meeting someone who can relate to everything you feel. there are no excuses for feeling trapped. if you want people to notice youre depressed and unhappy, tell them. no matter how blatant you feel you are with showing through actions, some people just cant detect su.....

wanting people to listen, you cant just tap them on the shoulder anymore. you have to hit them with a sledge hammer.

ive been alone. ive been depressed. ive felt insecure. i do every day. i wear long sleeved shirts because my arms are too skinny. love shouldnt hurt. being alone can change just by opening a door and taking a walk. say hi to people. remember their names. introverts and the shy can still be shy and introverted if they say hi to someone theyre sitting next to at a party.

some people are sad no matter what happens. but somethings make them temporarily bereaved from misery. do those things more often, forcifully if necessary. narcotics are not an example of pacification. they are the genital warts of problems. but forcing yourself to do something, even if it brings fear of whatever, as long as it makes you happy, proceed. the consequences will work themselves out and not knowing what will happen is half of the fun.

and this is redundant. i am trivial, absurd and swaying too far off the tracks of my original intentions. its all trivial nonsense anyways.