10.07.02 - 10:16 am

its done. its finished.

i now have a new word before the title that desribes who i am as a person. from now on, an answer to the question of, "who is that?" will be retorted with,"my ex boyfriend jordan."

ex boyfriend. ex girlfriend. exterminate. extinguish...explore?

shes happy. shes in love. then suddenly she gets bored, falls out of love and isnt happy. or maybe shes happy but i should know the difference between loving and being in love, which she isnt anymore with me. so be it.

heartbreak is a wound just like any other. its in my head. its laced tightly between the fabric of my depression and my happiness. keeping them close. after months of me complaining and whining to my friends of how crummy i feel without her, and months of visions of her with others....ill just stop. its the time between now and then that irritates me so. i dont know how long it lasts. and it always hurts and will hurt at the most random times. mostly when im alone. in the car. taking out the garbage at work. seeing happy couples....everywhere.

i hope she'll be happier being unhappy and alone, because i sure do.

joke.