01.16.03 - 1:01 pm

i woke up today feeling apprehensive. trapped. my entire life sealed with a fate that i was never meant for.

its an emotional claustraphobia that im panicking in. im trapped in a sinking submarine.

my feelings for sarah are as strong as theyve ever been, however, im feeling like i need to pretend like this isnt happening. i need to distract myself with school instead of with her.

if its not schoolwork thats building up, its the dishes. after i get the dishes done, my room always needs to be cleaned. then its my fish tank. then its work. then its finding time to work out. then its finding motivation to participate in my eductation. then its sarah. then its dishes. its a never ending chain of things needing to be completed in order to move on further down the list. i cant tell if the list is getting longer, or just more repetatitve.