02.08.04 - 12:06 am

hi.

ive been thinking alot about ashton. he was crying alot last time i saw him. but, i still miss him. i heard somebody say tonight, "the day your first child is born is the most terrifying day of your entire life. and then, everything about your old life, is gone. just gone, all of it. and then they start crawling and then walking and transform into......the most delightful people youll ever meet."

and i liked that. i liked the last part.

listen, i know im not supposed to talk to you, but i want to say, my heart will always be open for you. i will always be there to help you if you need me. and no matter how much i dislike you, or wish id had things be different, or make you mad, or have you spit on me, or however long we dont go without talking......

i know how i feel about you. not because its comfortable. but because....its how youve become apart of me. and i hurt because of this.

i miss ashton.

and i miss you.

goodnight sarah.