04.21.04 - 2:59 pm

ill admit. i feel hurt. my feelings are hurt. i liked bryan. i thought, regardless of his asshole exterior, that he was a pretty decent fellow. but, as of this afternoon, with news from justin, i just sort of feel saddened.

brain is moving out at the end of our lease to move in with some other friends of his. because, as justin puts it, he doesnt want to live with a family anymore. he doesnt want to deal with me and sarah.

i dont get it though. i mean, i dont think sarah and ashton are too tremendous of a burden. i dont see how they affected him so dramatically that he couldnt stand it anymore.

but, contrasting those feelings of loss, i feel a sense of relief. maybe i really dont care for him at all. hes rude. hes mean. hes selfish. he berates sarah to extraordinary levels, inflicting damage to her already fragile self image and self esteem. and he made some choices that completely stunned me and halted our friendship.

so, kim will be gone. brain will be gone. im sure justin will eventually decide he doesnt care to live with me, and instead chose a more his style roommate situation.

ill have russell. and ill have sarah. but even he will eventually get tired of sarah and ashton. im sure.

ill just have to let it all unfold.