01.05.06 - 10:43 am

when we asked for back up, we didnt think theyd send a spartan...

he arrived just after 9 am. short with tiny, beady eyes masked by the reflective light on his little eyeglasses. he was polite. courteous. he knocked and waited three times for me to awaken from my bed. he was all smiles upon opening the door.

the man knew exactly what to do. with his flame tipped rod carefully inserted into the metallic beast, he tickled it just enough to rouse it. with a deep rumble the device slowly grumbled back to life after decades of rest.

"now we just wait for the fan to kick on." the man said, almost sneering with confidence.

we didnt have to wait long.

as expected, the fan whirred to life, and a blast of hot air splashed over us both. i stood in silence, my face warm with shock and gratitude. he stood emotionless, with just a hint of pride.

after he left, i turned the dusty thermostat to 60 degrees. weak with atrophy, it signaled to the fan below to get to work. within minutes the house was thundering, warm air swarming in each room.

amidst the grumbles of the furnace, i could just barely make out the panic stricken screams of billions of mold spores.

the time for worshipping yourself has now come to an end.