05.12.06 - 9:14 am

1. molluscum
2. poison oak
3. nutmeg
4. scabies
5. pinworms
6. fucked up shoulder

i ran out of painkillers yesterday.

and i can tell.

nearly every movement is mirrored by a grotesquely exaggerated sting of pain. i dont know if the tennis game yesterday made my problem worse, or if all this time those little damn pills were seeding me with false optimism.
either way, sleeping last night was temporary, at best. hitting the snooze button was an excruciating experience every ten minutes.
i dont mind the pain in my shoulder now so much, its that damn muscle attached to my shoulder blade thats ruining all the fun. it makes it hurt to breath. to bend. to sit up straight. to lay down. to reach out. sometimes ill arch my back and press my shoulder blades together, hoping that if i make it hurt really bad, somehow that muscle will suddenly lose its grip and give up. like all thats going on back there is some greedy muscle that wants all the attention, and so if i hurt, it hurts. and if i hurt alot, i can outlast the pain longer than it can.

and it will just give up. so far this little fantasy hasnt worked out. at all.

so monday i go in for more physical therapy. today i go in for more damn pills. and soon i hope to take a picture of the yellow green smear that lies just beneath the skin of my shoulder and chest. its really something. i guess its some sort of proof that i got really fucked up and im not joking when i bitch about needing more painkillers.

dear sphinx. youve got some major retaliation coming your way. maybe not from physical brute force. maybe not anytime soon. but when you get your stripper girlfriend pregnant AND find out you suddenly have a case of HPV, i hope you glance at me just in time to see a smile on my face.