05.16.06 - 9:41 am

it still hurts, you know. when i see, when i look over her body. watching the way her lips move as she smiles, how her eyes light up when she laughs. watching old videos or pictures, and seeing her so frequent through out. hearing her. the style in which she spoke, and the distinct content of her voice.

such a bizarre feeling. watching someone who was once so smothered in your life and you in hers and then to know shes now far beyond reach.

its almost humorous to know that the exact words shes used on me, i know she uses now on someone else. and vice versa, she hears exact phrases that i once was able to tell her.

to know that the same lips you kissed, and the hair you ran your fingers through, someone else now enjoys. to know that someone else wakes next to her, and that she prefers it this way.

mostly thats what pains the most, her desires. in that, she wants to him to press himself into her. she wants him to come over. she wants him to listen to her thoughts and jokes and complaints.

when all too recently, that same space was occupied by...me.

its not often as much anymore. just time to time. again its almost humorous now, looking over pictures of the two together. it looks awkward. somethings amiss. something just doesnt look right. almost as if he was super imposed right over my image.

oh well, in a couple of months to a couple of years, more images will be super imposed in the same places that david and i have once shared. and likewise, i too will have a long list of people to paste over sarah with.

now, if i could just finish up this goddamn poetry essay.