11.21.06 - 12:51 am

another example of complete irrationality.

sarah and i arranged that after i got off work tonight at 9, i would pick up ashton in monmouth. this would be done because sarah works at 7 am in mcminville tomorrow morning, and neither of us wants to necessarily get up extra early to meet to swap ashton. this is the plan until 8:53 tonight when sarah decides to change her mind for unknown reasons. the following is our text message conversation. naturally.

8:53 pm (seven minutes before im off work)

sarah: why dont you just come in the morning? ashtons sleeping and id rather he not be woken up in the cold and go for a car ride i have to leave my house by seven.

me: no, id really prefer not. it wont be cold! it will be in my warm car! i dont drive with the windows down sarah...ill see you around ten.

sarah: im saying i just dont want him woke up. please?

me: no. i dont want to wake up and drive at six. he will pass right back out, i promise.

sarah: way to think of yourself.

and then she drops the selfish card. only thinking about myself. of course. how ridiculous. this conversation was almost so absurd it seemed like something else had to be going on. was someone coming over that she didnt want me running into? was she going to be participating in something she didnt want me knowing about? i mean come on. hes a child. he sleeps through anything. cold? i dont even know where that argument came from. hell be in a car. with the heater on. its fucking winter. of course ill have the heater on.

and then there was the intense smell of cigarrette smoke inside the house as i entered. they either smoke in the house now, or sarah and her roommate had just got done burning a pile of dried tobacco leaves in their oven.

i have to constantly remind myself its not worth bringing up stuff like that. even though sarah criticizes everything i do with ashton, me bringing up my problems with her results in a barrage of insults. its not even worth questioning her. ever.

while listening to the horrorpops (probably a bit too loudly), just now ashton woke up slightly to tell me that "grandma said i can have a little bit of candy."
"no you cant have candy, youre asleep! but i love you...." i said, kissing his forehead and stroking his hair.
"i love you too," he responded, rolling away from me, his eyes still closed.

ha. i love it when he talks in his sleep.