11.26.06 - 12:42 pm

thursday evening, a young girl wandered around our store for over an hour. she was annoying. extremely annoying. asking questions. pointing out where stock goes, as if we didnt know. asking to hold animals. trying to be convincing. talking to employees. managers. customers. it got to the point where people stopped making eye contact, everyone just sort of nodded their heads and tried to pay her as little attention as possible.

oh yeah, im pretty sure she had down syndrome. if nothing else, she really was suffering from mental retardation.

everyone just sort of ignored her as she wandered around. we all avoided her, so she wouldnt attach herself and assault us with mindless chatter.

until she reached into an open fish tank...and grabbed a lionfish.

i didnt see it happen. but apparently there was blood. there was a slight understanding of pain. there was the associates giggling behind aisles at the ridiculousness of it all. i mean, come on, of all the things she could have done, did she have to get stung by the potentially life threatening fish? her mom was at the clothing store next door. the girl...ugh. good. im glad she got stung. secretly i wish it had been a huge event, like life flight and reporters and cops and....lawsuits. but so far, nothing. she just went home with her mom. my managers all tried to tell me that they talked to their supervisors and district managers and that i was to be fired on the spot.

but none of them could keep a straight face. they all thought it was just as ridiculous.

following this event, my manager....decided to create a masterpiece. he deems himself "the phantom pooper" because he likes to leave huge vegan shits in the work toilet. he doesnt flush. he wipes, but he throws the toilet paper away instead of putting them in the toilet, leaving an unhindered view at what his bowels produce. this particular defecation was huge. pop can huge. and twice as long. with two smaller satellite poops on top. to finish it off, he chewed a piece of gum into a snow man, and expertly perched it on top.

and then he turned the water off so no one could flush it, even if they wanted to.

and this was at midnight, during a freight night. after we were closed. the day before thanksgiving.

meaning, since we were closed the next day, it was going to sit there in that toilet bowl for the next 30 hours completely on its own.

dear. god.

i can only imagine what horrors awaited the friday morning staff.