02.22.07 - 10:49 pm

the tigerlight defense system.

externally, the product has every feature of a dependable flashlight: sturdy. black. unbreakable. intensely bright lamp.

however, the tigerlight defense system employs the ability to release a quick, effective dose of pepperspray via the button at the butt end of the light. with a seemingly effortless rotation of the wrist, the light quickly disorients an attacker with blindness and follows their wide eyed unexpectedness with a facial saturation of painful, choking spray.

my step father gave me a demonstration. holding the flashlight in his hand, he explained how bright the light was. how difficult it would be to look at an officer were they to shine it in your eyes. he lowered the light down toward my chest and briefly let my eyes readjust. squinting i tried to make out the features of his face and shiny bald head, only to have my eyes and face completely doused in a burning fluid. it was sticky. my eyes watered. my face was warm.

that son of a bitch.

he effectively rendered me helpless, and without the pepper spray. he had an inert gas inside, used for training purposes. but with that sort of speed and effectiveness, i cant even imagine what pepper spray would do to a person. the inert gas alone was like a bucket of face coating discomfort. pepper spray would be like a cannon of magma being blasted over your face and lungs.

"hey mike, if i give you $5 would you show michael your flashlight...."

i had only told michael that my step father had a really awesome new flashlight. michael foolishly assumed i was referring to how bright it was or something else as harmless.

soon, he too experienced the rapid switch from squinting disorientation to painful blindness. i laughed. JR laughed. mike chuckled.

michael went for the water.