08.19.10 - 8:27 am

i asked maison to watch ashton today.

normally i would bring him along with me while i cleaned a few aquariums. he would hate it. complain about being bored. whine. get antsy. play with things that id prefer him not to. do all the things i would do when my father dragged me around with him while he worked. only when i tagged along with my dad, we would go places that had snakes, insects to catch and nails and tools to build things with to hold my interest. according to my dad, all i did was complain however. regardless of these protests, i like having ashton follow me around to work. he can play with my itouch, play with his toys and it saves me having to spend money on daycare. he makes great company too.

but not today.

today im going to a house that i do not enjoy working in. i wish i had an invisible hazmat suit.

the house is huge and expansive. designed and built with an exterior of a mountain lodge. all one story. four car garage. huge driveway with a valet style front entry way. inside the house, there are several bedrooms. several bathrooms. a huge bonus room with a massive wooden door that slides open into the kitchen. all with a very 1980s mountain lodge style. this place could be really spectacular.

but instead its absolutely repulsive.

you immediately notice the smell when you enter. cat and cat urine. faint, but distinct. there are stains all over the carpets. some of the stains on the entry way linoleum are still wet. there are clumps of hair along where the carpet and wall meet. the bathroom they wanted me to use had large tennis ball clumps of black hair all over the counter, the floor the sink. a thanksgiving sized pile of disposable razors was also strewn here. the bed in this room was unmade, yet i dont think anyone had slept here in months.

they have big screen tvs. game stations. computers. all of these things have their boxes piled in the rooms. more carpet stains. the indoor hot tub is empty. the walls are scuffed and dirty. their tv screens have stains from long ago spills. things are just discarded to the floors and repurchased. there is plenty of walking room and floor space inspite of this.

the bonus room has shredded carpets from their massive horse sized dog. the dog that has soaked this room in its dog scent. its unpleasant dog scent. barely tolerable. from this room you walk into the laundry room, my least favorite room ive ever been into in my entire life.

i hold my breath when i enter, otherwise it hits you with an intense sensation that causes dry heaving. the smell is indescribable. at first i thought it was just a combination of cats and dogs and mice. but its several cans of opened dog food. sitting on the counters. lid peeled back, spoon still sticking straight out and then abandoned after one serving. mold and maggots squirm inside these barely used cans of dog food. on top of the laundry machines are piles of clothes. these clothes are peppered with dozens of mouse droppings and mouse urine stains. they have a few sticky mouse traps around the utility sink i have to use. some of these sticky traps have decaying corpses entombed and week after week i watch as more maggots consume the remains. i hold my breath and breathe from my mouth. the unfortunate taste of this air outweighs the involuntary agony that comes with breathing it.

when im done with this house, i feel as though the smell has stuck to me. stained my clothing. i drive with the windows down attempting to shed the filthe.

only every two weeks do i have to go. but i dread it. and i dont understand what happens inside there. the wife is in a motorized wheelchair and the husband works and plays softball. the two kids watch tv.

so i asked maison to watch ashton today.