09.15.10 - 9:15 am

its a tv show. i know this.

but theyre still people. fictional or not. people i find myself caring about, in spite of their faults and poor choices. regardless or not if they actually exist, i would like them to succeed.

i still remember 2005, sphinx telling me about people whose airplane crashed on an uninhabited island who then find a metal doorway into the ground. over the next several months he would tell me about a character named mr eko, and would have me find a youtube video of him facing off with a monster made of smoke.�

then i would meet jenna, who would encourage me to start at the beginning and watch them all.�insist, really.

knowing i would enjoy this show already, i took to amazon to buy all the seasons i could. then i loaded the disc.

pressed play.�

this was back when i could drink rockstar 21. perhaps the psychotropic effects of the drink enhanced the experience for me. the first season was absolutely captivating. i plowed through it. deep into the early hours of morning until i could go no further and fell asleep. drunk. and annoyed at all the things that would come between me and my television.�four or five episodes in a row.

once caught up, i was forced to watch in real time. the days in between each episode straining my relationship with the characters and story. seven days was excruciating. i would have people over or i would sit alone in the dark. rockstar 21 still coursing through my system, i would shout at the tv. engaging the characters. and at the end of every episode i would stir with anticipation. every once in awhile, an episode would leave me reeling with excitement. it would be my most enjoyable weekly experience.

during the seasons, i would remove all of my friends from my myspace top 8 and change them to lost characters i had collected as friends.�i laugh at myself in retrospect, but i would have done it on facebook were i only able.

during the season finale of the 3rd season, not more than a few minutes into the episode the power went out, but only on my side of town. i had guests. i had disappointment. i was very annoyed. i bought it off itunes the moment it was available the next day.�

season 4 and 5 i wrote weekly commentary in a thread on my local fish forum.�eventually ill be embarrassed about all this.

season six was fraught with excitement. confusion. disappointment. and relief. it was over. i could move on.�

but i didnt.

i started right back at the beginning and made a commitment to watch the entire series in its entirety.�the story fit together better. the narratives became much more linear. all 108 days on the island were now not spread over six years, but just a few weeks. it was so great to see everyone again, back as they were. shaven. clean. strangers. but so much happier. there were no hatches. no smoke monsters. no others. just the trite problems they caused amongst themselves. the best scenes were hurleys beach camp montages.

i suppose whats happened here is the writers of the show succeeded. not just in telling a good story. not just in having exciting things happen to beautiful people. but they created characters that i feel emotionally attached to. i feel like, in spite of all their negative experiences during the length of the show, some years from now theyll call me up, asking me to meet them at a bar downtown. and they will seamlessly blend with my own real friends. their stories will be something we cheer to, laugh at and admire. smoke monsters, gun fights, time travel, polar bears, plane crashes, keamy.....these things wont matter so much as all the original characters together. there will be lots of slow motion laughing in silence with michael giacchinos emotionally stirring scores drowning out all other sounds. fade to black.

i can have this any time i want.

i have one more season left. again. just a few episodes more with these people before theyre reduced to objects on a shelf. my girlfriend will be happy no more of my time will be invested in something she sees as so silly. i can go back to watching house hunters international or flip this house, shows with real world value.

like i said, ill be embarrassed about this one day, i assure you.