12.21.01 -

currently im at the mall. i wish i knew what time it was. all around i see tremendous age gaps. no i dont. ok youre right. pastor dave just walked by. i met him back when i was with julia. four years ago. malls today are primarily full of yonger girls. lots of young girls. or girls with boyfriends. i got a speeding ticket today. and i need a haircut. im semi looking for lindsy joyner. or at least something familiar here. i feel exposed and uncomfortable. insecurity and lack of confidence cause this. i have $75 in my wallet. i need to buy things for other people and i cant forget.

what time is it?

ok so i asked and its 6:40pm. im now sitting in a very uncomfortable chair and position. people are slowing down as they pass to see what im writing. people begin to look familiar if you look at them long enough. i wonder what the ratio is of miserable people to happy people. here in the mall that is. see list below:

crimey! too many attractive girls. blue short sleeve. long white sleeve. blonde. army outfit. fathers and songs. daughters and mothers. casual. unrecognizable. white cream with rusty red smeared with white circles with black lines. thats the tile patter at my feet. i wonder what the guy who designed that thinks about while he shaves. oversized notre dame muscle shirt. lots of darks. dark blues. greys. browns. black. and a beige burka. hmmm. right now it would be nice to either have my discman or the ability to speak russian. how many girls change what theyre wearing , put on makeup, do their hair and then go to the mall. im not writing well at all. people who glance over and see this will be very confused and most likely belittle me me as retarded or "not cool". i just farted. no one noticed. just saw whitney leben. havent seen her in a year or two. shes sticks popsicles in here nether regions. i like short girls. if people would just stop buying, prices would go down. the more you buy the more they raise the prices, so they can put...put what why do they make so much money. how far does it really take them. im not seeing anyone i know. that bothers me and i wish it didnt. age is impossible to determine. a lady just sat down next to me. shes doing fine and thats i know about her. 6 o clock she says. mom should be here. i should be in arizona. i think i would much rather be 8 years old. that way i could go unnoticed and my intentions would not include females.