1.4.02 - 3:42pm

a semi entertaining pass time is tickling my dogs while they try to sleep.

last night i told andi that i had nothing to say to her. and some other feelings. but i cant remember. but in response to this she simply said, "so sad."

i said goodnight and "no, its not."

but these two words bother me coming from her. whats so sad? the fact that you were fucking guys like its nobodys business while i was in arizona alone and ignorant. i dont get that. "so sad" in the sense that she pities me for not at least being her friend. couples who dont function as a couple can break up and still stay friends. not couples in which one person was whoring herself out and then lying about it. there is no basis to start a friendship on when one person has been wounded so deeply by another. i dont get her thought process. right now im listening to country songs that my sister has playing. these songs only anger me and make me uncomfortbale with their pseudopain and positive messages about loves lost or love found or moving on or moving away or pick up trucks. i killed my pick up truck. yeah. this is why i dont like raisons. or is it? what? christ jordan, get a hold of yourself!