2.7.02 -

ok dilemma. so yeah, i like a girl. alot. the battle for her affections was long and perilous. my signals were more like comet impacts and yet she was still surprised when i kissed her. so weve done the whole makeout thing, but, and i could be wrong, it wasnt a physical making out. it wasnt the heat of passion making out. more like we lay together, i kiss her hands, her neck, we talk, we stare at each other, and smile. ask what each other is thinking, kiss some more and occasionally, she will take control and go through a burst of passion. its kind of nice. and while i think about her all of the time, and just want to be near her as often as possible, i find myself now playing attention games to see how strong her affections are for me. i wait to see if she will IM me, and basically just see if its just me whos making all the contact. but now, i wonder what do i do. how far do i take this; she is on hiatus from her boyfriend of two years and seven months. thats a long time. she says she hasnt been single in about 5 years. and while i place no responsibility on her nor obligatins to me, i have told her i like her and have said things to woo her that are true. i like her. alot. i wouldnt mind her being my girlfriend but i think i like this better. granted, i would feel waves of jealousy is she was with another and heart broken if she returned to her boyfriend. im unsure. i dont know what lies ahead. i am wary. im nervous. i dont want to saturate her. but i dont want to lose her and have to just be friends with her. i dont know if i could do that and still remain happy. im very happy right now. im happiest when ive seen her. this weekend im spending (hopefully) with her in her home town of elgin oregon. its a 6 hour drive from here, and about 2 hours from the idaho border. i hope we go.

michaelspear: are you going to get road head? ronnpopeil: no. ronnpopeil: they dont have any paved roads out there. they still have horse drawn carts. muskets. and indians attack them. michaelspear: then get horse drawn cart head.

yeah well class time. the really hot girl that sometimes works in the office of the college inn is sitting a few tables off. so i waved.