03.09.02 - 6:10 pm

things around me feel awkward. the girl i fancy talks about her ex more than me. i dont feel the need to see my friends as much as id like to. the weather is random and unimportant. i have weird dreams of trees that fall from the sky like missles. im antsy. im anxious. im happy but have nothing to talk about. i dont want to go to school for a few more days. i dont want a haircut, but i want to shave. people think im funny, and i just smile. most people think im not online as much as i really am. sitting in my room alone is more enjoyable than sitting around with my friends when they are high.

i feel pregnant with apathy. simply put.

ive spent three days and 5 dollars on some black card board and a white charcoal pencil so i could write a simple russian translation. and it only makes me more angry.

and i will get what i deserve. keep all the secrets under my bed. open the curtains and forget what i said. and what you wish for could come true. you arent surprised love, are you?