08.22.02 - 2:06 am

sometimes the forrest gump opening piano theme fits in just right with how you feel.

sometimes other people lose what they love, while you still have yours around somewhere in the back of your head.

sometimes isnt enough to realize how fortunate you are to have all the things that you have, and when something important is taken away from you, you always say,"i should have......"

tomorrow im calling my mom and telling her i love her. i need to work on never having to say "i should have."

i tell sarah i love her. she said it first. it feels awkward to say it. it feels like i shouldnt say it. but when i do, i enjoy the way it makes me feel. i enjoy the way it makes her feel. when she wakes up in the morning, she will have an email that says those very same words.

im sorry matthew. i wish there was something i could do that would just make you smile again, to stitch you back up, place a warm hand over your heart to keep you from feeling scared and lost and overpowered by waves of pain. i want nothing more than your security and happiness again. ill do my best to help you find it again. no matter how long it takes.