11.04.02 - 6:54 pm

dear carmelo,

whats up hot stuff? youre gorgeous. i miss you. i didnt really ever know you that well, but youre really missed. i had juan send you some pictures of me so you know what i look like now. stud. gorgeous. hottie. i really want you to write me back. keep in touch handsome.

love sarah michelle thornton.

i found a letter she had hand written to carmelo. she never writes hand written letters to me. especially never like that. she doesnt even tell me things like that. today and last night she made me feel intellectually inferior to her. she made me feel stupid and annoying. i cant ever remember feeling like that. i cant say i know whats really going on with her. she says this:

well basically....you make me feel like ive never felt. ever. your different. and nice. and everythings ok when im with you. happy.....im in love with you. and thats never happened to me before. ive never cared about anyone....like i care for you. DONT YOU GET IT?

and then writes a letter like that and contradicts what she tells me with the way she acts. its been like this for a while, but ive just pretended its not really happening until today. which leaves me feeling......here we go again.