02.12.03 - 2:30 pm

i dont want to do this. i dont want a child. i used to have a good feeling every time we talked about having it. wed be together. having a child. what i wanted.

when i was older and ready.

but i cant fight this. i cant make my life go back to normal. i cant make her not have a child. i cant make it go away. im pretty sure i pretend to be happy when we talk about it now. i think if she looked close enough, everytime she mentioned our child....she might see me wince. im having a child.

and i dont want to.