11.24.04 - 2:44 pm

im getting really worried. very concerned. im filled with thoughts of her dark and silent satisfaction. im seeing an empty drawer. im rummaging through my memories as surgically as i am my belongings. it has to be around here somewhere. i didnt move it. i didnt misplace it.

if i stuck it somewhere it was to hide it from her.
if i didnt hide it, then she took it.

and this is terribly disappointing to think about. if she did, then at least i have imaginary acts of violence i can replay over and over in my head for gratification.