02.02.05 - 3:18 pm

yeah so, whatever shes doing, its working. the most effictive treatment for post relationship closure is to bounce back and forth between fucking her boyfriend and telling me she misses me and wants to come over. and then, upon the next time i see her, act as content as ever that shes with him and not me.

now that works!

and then on top of the emotional confusion, to then ask me to watch ashton so she can go to a party. didnt you just party all last weekend? wasnt last weekend yours to watch ashton, and yet, you pawned him off on your grandparents so you could go to portland? what about friday night? whatd you do friday night? you didnt stay home with ashton.
but yet, you want me to watch him all day tuesday and wednesday morning. all day thursday and friday morning. and then again friday evening and saturday morning...and THEN after i get off work on saturday evening until sunday morning.
christ.
do you watch ashton just long enough to drop him off at someone elses house?

either way, the most effective treatment for myself is to concentrate not so much on the anger and growing disdain for her, but focus on the things that make me happy and emotionally aroused. causing myself discomfort is not working. trying to look at other girls as potential girlfriends is completely useless. there is no desire there at all.
but yet, sarahs power lies in that she knows im helpless to her. she needs to know that im not interested anymore. that what i was hoping for has withered away. at least for another two weeks. then this will start over again. but if all goes as i need it to....

it wont.