02.07.05 - 3:04 pm

the tightening in my chest returned today. as did a slight amount of nausea. great. neat. thanks. i knew the feelings of emotional solace were of temporary discretion, so im not completely shocked.

just a tad disappointed. a little too eager, one might have concluded.

oh yeah spring break. dont even remind me how fun and enjoyable mine will be.

thoughts that had been supressed by unusual feelings of contentment were marred by constant thoughts of her having sex with him. for fucks sake, get that shit out of my head, ok?

the whole time i drove down to brownsville to pick up ashton today, the question that burned was: what was the shortest length of time between her going down on him, or having sex with him...and then having sex with me?

her response: "well i never had sex with you after him but before him i do believe less than 12 hours. but never in the same day i dont think."

stop it, youre not going back.