03.24.05 - 1:53 am

so rumor has it, that in times of a cocaine shortage, one should ingest a much more legal and common substance in order to reach and maintain a "high". used for such mundane tasks as cooking, the chemical makeup of this product is comparable to such street names as "blow" "ice" and "cookie batter", just to name a few. so, when a mild marijuana shortage forced my roommates into desperate methods of intoxication, i was coerced to follow as well.

here is a short, incoherant time line, edited for clarity.

AN EVENING OF NUTMEG
8:40 nutmeg induced.

9:39
so far [listening to] mr brightside. mural drawing on the couch. feeling gross. burping up nutmug. nothing yet.

10:33
mural completed. cotton mouth.

11:46
occassional pangs of head aches. more of a gross taste in my mouth that feels like cotton mouth. upset feeling stomach. burps of terrible tasting nutmeg. feeling of...nausea, body weird feeling. lightheaded?

12:50
feeling definete lightheadedness sensation [in] typing on fingers. disorientation. empty feeling, like when high. dont want to talk, or open mouth. really want to sleep.

1:04
[justin:] what sound does a toyota make? CHINK!!! [ensuing hysterical laughter from ben and justin]

1:13
cottonmouth.

1:18
[sarah:] "ok i gotta go, bye..."
*beep beep beep*
[jordan calls back and asks:] "why did you hang up?"
[sarah:] "i said i had to go..."
[jordan:] "no you didnt!"
[sarah: "i said i had to go to bed, and have a goodnight..."
jordan: "i didnt hear you say any of that, i just heard you talking and the you had hung up...."]

1:38
justin pukes. ben made him laugh too hard.

1:52
[my body] shakes...cold house

1:57
dizzy, very very dizzy. feel ill. want to sleep. cotton mouth!!
[ben:] "reminds me of notes in a five for fighting song...the only scientifically proven way to get infected with gay."

2:17
tired. tired of this feeling. heavy feeling in chest. big heart beats. tingly arms.
goodnight.

[the following day]

12:44
feel gross. dizzy. nauseous. not necessarily unpleasant, but i want it to stop.

so, thats all i wrote. but let me just add in some things. for one, i didnt crawl out of bed until nearly 2:30 the following afternoon. i kept falling back asleep hoping that id wake up each time a little less nauseous. this was not the case. each time i awoke, i still felt just as bad as the time before. eating didnt help either. neither did water.
all methods that would normally work while enduring a hangover from alcohol, seemed fruitless. i had to work at 5 and even by then i still felt absolutely terrible. i didnt want to talk. i felt so dizzy. several times i felt like throwing up.
and then around 10 it went away. finally.

the initial serving of the nutmeg included three table spoons almost immediatly following me getting off work. three table spoons. trailed by lots of water. nothing. just, a terrible consistant burp tasting of that wretched nutmeg flavor. it was like getting dirt stuck in your mouth. against your teeth. inbetween your cheeks. your gums. all over your tongue. powdery dirt. ugh. and nutmeg. for three table spoons i endured this. and then waited.
for hours. wasting time.
and then, slowly....a creeping sensation of difference. something was changing. ben felt it too. justin was harder to convince.
fucking nutmeg.
we ruined ashleys couch, during the sober time before it hit, none the less. and it pretty much consumed me as a blanket of dizziness. constant, severe dizziness. i guess that was the high: nausea. when talking to sarah on the phone, whole sections of dialogue would suddenly disappear from memory, and i was left confused abd surprised during conversation. sarah became understandably irritated at my lack of cognitive functionality. i wonder what else, if taken in large enough quantities, will provide me with other sources of intoxication. motor oil perhaps? KY jelly? what about apples. how many apples can i eat before i can tell people i got fucked up off apples.

TOP FIVE MOST FUCKED UP THINGS SELF INFLICTED BY JORDAN NOE
1. poison oak
2. nutmeg
3.
4.
5.