04.15.05 - 12:32 am

my little boy.

so absolutely fascinating. what i am intrigued about most is his desires. his wants. his preferances.

for example this evening. hed rather sleep in my bed than in his crib. with his bottle fully in his mouth, held by clenched teeth, he points to my bed and says "seep dare." this translates into "sleep there". why my bed over his crib? both are comfortable. but im willing to bet that he likes to sleep in my bed because hed rather sleep with me next to him. which brings me to my next example.

after he fell asleep in my bed, i gently moved him to his crib, hoping he wouldnt notice the difference. but, even in his dead sleep his senses are remarkably alert. he awoke and put both arms in the air, crying out for "dada". so i asked him if hed rather sleep in my bed, and he stopped his tears to say a confident "yeah". so i lay him down, he gets comfortable, and he points behind him saying "dada nigh nigh". this is his way of telling me he wants me to fall asleep next to him. right now. thats what he would prefer. me sleeping next to him over him sleeping alone. it matters to him. i find that incredible. he could just fall asleep and not care one way or the other, but the fact that it was important enough to him to tell me.....hes only 20 months old. i dont give him nearly enough credit for the person he is and is becoming. he surprises me daily with how fast he learns, how quickly he picks up on things.

today ben taught him how to "skin it", like in the movie 'stand by me'. instead of a highfive like slap, its more of a drawn out highfive. you slide the hand over the other. ashton got it. and soon was saying "sin it" to ben and justin.

but he loves trains. when he hears one, even if hes been unbreakably focused on 'finding nemo' or 'the incredibles', his eyes light up and a huge smile breaks across his face.

"cmon" he says as he pulls my hand so i that i join him in either watching the train go by, or playing ball with him, or taking him to the tractors across the street.

"ssssit ssssit!" he demands pointing to the ground. he wants me to sit and play with him. or be close to him while he reads a book. or draws. he'll even ask me to sit and watch movies with him.

when he sees a pen he likes to draw. when hes not in his carseat, he wants to sit in the drivers seat and pretend to drive. he loves to run. to jump. and ride his bicycle, which is a makeshift plastic three wheeled scooter thing.

tanks. what? why tanks? he saw me playing a tank in a video game. i even let him control it for a while. ever since then, he loves them tanks. he spotted one at goodwill on their .49 cent table, and had to have it. hes been inseperable from it ever since. he likes tanks. not horses. not frogs. tanks.

and turtles and cody. he wakes up, and if he notices cody, he immediately and excitedly shouts out his name and points. hes so happy when he sees cody. and if ashton and i are walking cody, and cody is off peeing in some bushes, ashton yells for cody. calling him to catch up.
and gizmo. or "mo" as he calls him...and every turtle he sees. turtles. not cats. not aliens. turtles.

today his preference was to drink the water not out of the nozzle of the tippy cup, but to have the lid removed and drink like a big kid.
"i hold ittt" he says. he wants to be very independant. he very much wants to have the same rights and abilities as a grown up.

this is my son. capable of sentences. running. having favorites and enjoying his fathers company above anyone else.

well, occasionally ben and justin out do me there. but only because they gave ashton his first experience with an addicting narcotic:

chocolate.