05.29.05 - 5:03 pm

again today, the same amount of disinterest.

a phone call at 430. i left at 830 this morning and she didnt feel like saying anything to me since. and the only reason she called was so she could find out where to drop off ashton so she can go to the beach.

when i have ashton, anyone she meets immediatly has the upper hand on me. they can be exciting. provocative. intriguing. fascinating and exhilarating. because they dont have a child holding them down.
when sarah comes to see me, i do have a child. sarah and i can not be spontaneous or exciting. especially as it gets later into the evening. so our relationship remains uninteresting for her. shes losing interest. and i dont blame her, really. its hard to enjoy someone when there is a child running around that needs to be fed, changed and constantly observed.

shes rude. shes insensitive. shes mean. and she doesnt even notice.