06.20.05 - 1:57 am

its late. you read over things that were said four months ago, and it still hurts. still penetrates you. it hurts because it happened. it hurts because its going to happen again.

and no matter what i use to distract myself: music. girls. alcohol. people. fish tanks. feelings of hurt can surface faster and more rapidly than i am able to push them aside.

she hurts. her and blaine was a crushing blow. because she was so nonchalant. so comfortable.

i want to sound like martin sheen in apocolypse now, with a hopeless throaty grumble, reciting my thoughts as poetry.

someday this wars gonna end.