08.03.05 - 8:51 pm

goddamnit. i dont know why, but just every so often, it just hurts.

its provoked by music. by a lost pair of shoes. by newly discovered scaps of paper with her scribbles on it.

but then its quickly extinguished when i remember her preferred method of ending a conversation: the prompt unnannounced hang up. the insensitive and remorseless tone in her voice.
and how she apologizes for being a bitch, and will ask a few important autobiographical questions before retreating into the creature she has to maintain. she says shes like that to alot of people. but, i have a feeling she reserves her most potent aggression for me. shes bitter. my mom says shes bitter because she has a child and shes frustrated how it affects her social life. i believe that has something to do with it. i was bitter about that for about a year before it wore off. sarah will claim shes not frustrated. not bitter. not angry. just that im annoying.

unfortunately, i cant sleep with enough girls to get her out of my life.