08.15.05 - 11:04 am

from a few days ago. via text messages. when i was trying to remember to forget you.

i just got off my hiking trip. it was amazing and the entire i thought of you. dreamt about you both nights. and kept thinking if i do it again i want to do it with you...i miss you.

sigh.

im sorry.

we had sex last night in the bathroom of your school :) in my dream

well i dont even have the slightest idea how to respond.
i have this terrible feeling you think youre texting someone else.

no. im texting you! jordan david richard noe.

who did you have sex with anyone i know and are they better than me?
i get light headed and weak when i think about its driving me nuts.
i dont know if i could ever go back knowing theres someone in between.
TALK TO ME

sarah...youve broken my heart. youve had sex with at least three people. youve 'found your future'. i dont exactly know what youre saying or want.
god i miss you. god how ive been devastated by you. and youre not dependable. youre twenty. i want you for longer than a few months. and you would just use me as a temporary until you lost interest again.

im needing you thats all im saying

but why? why do you need me? why didnt you need me two months ago? did you really need to sleep with three guys to know how important i was to you? am i even important? is that why youre always so angry at me...because maybe you made a mistake? or are you jst so goddamed confused? you said you were happy with joe.

im scared of my emotions too theyve been a crazy jumble. i just felt like it had to mean something that when i was out in the middle of nowhere for three days and i could only think about you and you were the first person i spoke to when i got back.
i dont know. i dont want to hurt you but i just thought id tell you how i felt.

id never be able to say any of this in person. i can only do it thorugh text, sorry.
i know that it took me so much out of me to get this far away from you. i love that im somewhere in your thoughts in a positive way. and god how i would love to just have you again. but i think once you see and spend time with joe, youll realize you are where you want to be.
i need you too sarah. but i just feel like this is too big of a fuck up. i just wish it never happened and you were waiting for me to get home so you me and ash could go play in the fountain. get pizza and take a nap. i hate this. and always will. im rambling.

no i feel the same way. really.

spend some time thinking. and eventually some good or bad will happen.

ok.