10.09.05 - 11:11 pm

im....feeling uneasy. im seriously experiencing a bit of anxiety at the moment. things...just are adding up.

a costly war in iraq that is nowhere near ending.
thousands of US troops dead and wounded.
hundreds of thousands of civilians and insurgents killed.

the entire middle eastern region unfolding as a violent epidemic of hate and murder. spreading outward to all reaches of the planet....all for no reason. the entire world afraid of being blown up. unexpectedly. unnecessarily.

a massive tsunami in southeast asia that kills hundreds of thousands of people. endless destruction along the coasts of the region.

a catestrophic hurricane in the southeast united states floods an entire city. hundreds dead. following five destructive hurricanes the previous year in the same region.

a massive mudslide burying hundreds of people in guatamala. following yet another hurricane. fifteen to twenty feet of mud burying entire towns, so much so the towns are declared mass graves.

a tremendous earthquake in pakistan, killing 20,000 people. most likely more.

and now more and more word of the asian bird flu. preparation. fear. dread. this really could be terrible. its feared to kill millions.

millions.

doesnt this long chain of events seem rather odd to anyone? i hesitate to say its reminescent of a coming apocolypse, but seriously...this just seems so...fucked up right now. i mean, i know millions of people die every day in all parts of the world. but...arent a few million more than usual dying just this last year? im disgusted by describing all this death and mayhem as exciting, because, really it is rather exciting. but at the same time, the more in continues, i cant help but feel like....ive had enough of this "excitement".

i guess ill just have to sit back and watch this whole human drama unfold. while my compassion for other people flourishes and fades, im glad the earth is ridding itself of its fleas by the millions. we still have a few billion people left to wipeout before the planet can have a few years to breathe easier. but at the same time, christ, some of these people dying are good decent people. people who love their families, go to work to earn their wages. people who walk instead of drive cars because they care. people who like music and green grass. people who have aspirations to be surgeons or scientists.

oh well. in the end i wouldnt be surprised if im killed in a terrorist attack. and if that doesnt do me in, itll be the asian bird flu. lets find out.