01.14.06 - 10:39 am

i wasnt paying as close attention as i should have, but once i recognized the shape, i immediately paused and visually memorized my surroundings.

there, just at my feet barely visible in the street light above me and shadowed by a thicket of dry pointy sticks was the unmistakable shape of a rattlesnake. curled amongst itself and the desert underbrush, it sat motionless. it was just a few inches from my sandaled foot. but upon inspecting my surroundings a bit closer several more snakes began come into my field of vision. there was a large thick snake curled under the rocks by my knee, exposed by the shorts i was wearing. a tiny snake just behind the heel of my foot. a few others curled within striking range just beyond my toes.

it was almost like i was trapped.

knowing that if i just moved slow and with precision, and didnt bring alarm to the snakes i should be fine, i cautiously began to step away. but like tripping a fire alarm, suddenly a chorus of rattles erupted from the sticks and cacti and rock at my exposed legs and feet. i kept moving, trying not to step on any snakes or make any movement worthy of attracting a bite.

but it didnt work.

one snake struck out at my shin, and got a fang in. it felt like a little needle prick. another bite landed somewhere just above my knee on my other leg. i was out of the mass of snakes though, and not wanting to speed my heart anymore than it was already racing, i walked away slowly back to my grandmothers house.

i arrived feeling fine, calm and composed. i didnt feel any pain except the sting of puncture in my legs. so i told my mother, who seemed to be the only one at my grandmothers house this late at night. she was less than thrilled and terribly worried. but i told her that, i didnt feel any pain, i didnt think they really got me enough to inject any venom. i thought i was going to be fine, i reassured her.
she however didnt believe me, but left me alone for the time being.
a few minutes later however, i noticed a slight tingle in my legs. almost like they were falling asleep. maybe just a bit of venom got in there, i thought. i pretended to ignore the tingles until my foot felt like it was swelling up, even though it visibly wasnt. ok, now i started to worry. i called 911 and my mother. they needed the address to my grandmothers house.
this house was not far from a little thriftway shopping center, but it still was nearly out in the middle of the desert. the houses werent that far apart, and being so far back on the lot and ambulance would have a terrible time seeing the address on the house in the dark.
while on the phone with the emergency operator, i described the bites, and what i was feeling. at this point it felt as though both my feet were swollen and legs limp with intense tingles. like a terrible cramp after accidentally napping in an awkward position. i was going through drawer after drawer looking for envelopes, checkbooks, mail...anything that would have the address to this goddamn house on it. i was yelling at my mom to hurry up and find something.
but my grandma just had a divorce and so she had scratched out all of the labels and addresses that listed both my grandparents together.
my head started to hurt, and i felt a terrible nausea in my stomach. i felt weak, like i hadnt eaten anything in days. my voice was getting hoarse and hollow as i yelled to my mom to help me. i seemed to be just limping around without direction, phone to my ear, looking and calling out to my mom off somewhere in some other room of this giant dimly lit house. i could see blood dribbling down my leg from the punctures. my one foot felt so big and limp.
in my nearly aimless wanderings i happened to walk infront of a mirror. passing it, i noticed something very peculiar.
my eyes were gaunt and it looked like i hadnt slept in weeks. my face was very pale. not to mention my entire ear was smeared with blood. i could watch it slowly ooze out. looking down at the phone i had been holding to it, blood soaked into the buttons and all over my fingers.

i...wasnt doing ok at all at this point.

and then i woke up.