08.06.06 - 11:17 pm

my hair loss is becoming grossly apparent. i remember the months of kinney telling me his hair was failing him, and doubting it completely. until the evening of his birthday, when he pulled off his hat to reveal a sight all too familiar:

thinning hair.

its worse than just being bald. at least then, its a lose/lose situation. youre bald. nothing more to be concerned with other than how much sunscreen to apply to the top of your head on a daily basis.

on the other hand, gradual thinning hair is like a daily reminder just how much more unattractive youre going to be to members of the opposite sex, and just how many more guys out there will look at you and say, "damn, im glad im not that guy...."

i looked at my pillow today. a mass of hair. like a short haired female had slept on that pillow or something for the last month. but it was only the past few weeks. maybe two at most. and there were at least 80 hairs on there. im trying to grow my hair out, and its completely unrelated to my current problem, but if i move my hair to certain areas, there are landing strips of white scalp immediately visible. blatantly visible. it wasnt as depressing as its becoming. i feel like the guys in the commercials: insecure about being in swimming pools and on windy days.

im losing my hair.

i thought if your mothers father had hair, you would as well. something about skipping a generation. looks like im going the todd wilcox route: bald by 30.

fate has a delightful way of giving you all your deepest desires early in life, but at the cost of something equally as desirable.

fate may have given me an extensive list of female conquests, but it has cost me in hair.

i wish fate would have chosen something random and excuseable, like arm hair loss or a terrible scar on one leg. as if being grotesquely skinny wasnt enough.

fate (to himself): "...sickly and skinny looking is nice, but a nice healthy dose of early onset balding ought to finish him off...."