08.12.07 - 9:44 pm

houston to new orleans. a six hour drive through the fury of zeus.

the drivers of the american southeast are not very accommodating. if you are trying to change lanes and prepare for this with a courteous blinker, it will go ignored. cars will actually speed up to make sure you dont get in front of them. this is in addition to semi trucks making full use of the fast lane, using it to pass you. ben gradually took on many of these qualities the deeper we tread into the southeastern heartland, only occasionally offering some genuine oregon road generosity complete with friendly wave.

we broke into louisiana and it looked just as youd expect: swamp. endless swamp. the freeway essentially turned into a expansive causeway, searing a vast marshland right down the middle. coincidentally enough, as i looked up the definition of causeway to use for that description, i discovered the lake pointchartrain causeway is the longest bridge in the US to go completely over water....and its exactly what we were on for about six hours. practically. the road into louisiana is not very high off the water, not like any bridge we have here in oregon, its mere existence is a feat of human ingenuity. i mean, its a bridge over swamp....for several miles. how does it not sink? how does it remain level? how many people died of alligator attacks during its construction? how do you get equipment out there for repairs? how did they even build it in the first place?!

then, in the distance, the blue sky faded and filled with blackness. a solid gray curtain hung precariously over the roadway. was it a mist? a foreboding fog? no. a torrential downpour unseen since biblical times. a solid sheet of water crashed into at 80 mph. visibility dropped to whitewash. windshield wipers were rendered useless, like using a pair of oars to dam a river. amazingly enough, people slowed down to a measily 40 mph and turned on their hazard lights. a significant amount of people just pulled over and waited out the storm. the heavens were merciless, and the deluge lasted for over an hour. we had been making excellent time on our way east, but zeus had his own agenda. lighting exploded directly overhead, the thunder chasing it without hesitation. this was incredible.

but the excitement quickly waned when the storm refused to end.

ben and i endured a continuous ebb and flow of thunderstorms until new orleans. they would disappear and tease the sky with blue, only to collect again and try to drown out the I-10 east freeway. the thunder rumbled. the lightning struck the water just beyond the freeway. the rain was warm and heavy. but soon enough, the city of new orleans blossomed before us. our refuge from the rain, and the las vegas of our trip aching for our money and the consumption of its alcohol.

cops are not nice here. even my father said so as he warned me not to taunt them. the caged beasts that are new orleans finest. we passed a pair of officers who had just pulled over a vehicle, and due to the narrow new orleans side streets, ben kindly waited for the officer to get out of his car before he passed. the officer did not understand this display of compassion. he waved us on, but there was a car stopped in front of us waiting to pull out onto the main road....so we pulled in behind, parallel to the bad guy car. both cops exited. the driver in the car did not look safe. if there was going to be a shootout, both ben and i would have been killed just for witnessing. anxiety rose. im sure i ducked down in my seat a bit and kept my eyes lowered slightly.

the climactic shoot out never occurred. ben and i both survived unharmed. that wasnt even an exciting story worth mentioning. i apologize.

fast forward.

im pulling my ID out to show the bartender since he didnt even bother asking. ben had to show his. ben said something about me being his father. i laughed. dude behind me recognized my drivers license as that of authentic oregonian origin. this is where fate joined our evening.

josh.

josh moved from oregon to LA to pursue an acting career. he made it as far as a V8 commercial. his girlfriend saige was slightly more successful and had been out in new orleans filming a movie with charles dutton. he was out visiting her. he was funny, he was engaging, he got us drinks. it was good to have met him. then his girlfriend came down.

saige.

a beautiful very nice young lady who was equally as welcoming and enjoyable to sit and drink with. she was in a movie about girls in prison using track to....feel better about themselves. charles dutton likes to be called "rocky" but she referred to him as "chuck dutt". her fellow castmates were on their way down. they were not as enchanting.
one girl came down with a tattoo above her knee, when asked about it she remarked that it was fake. ben made a joke about it taking hours to apply during make up, or something of that nature, and the girl gave him a condescending blank stare and said, "i dont get it." what a bitch.
the other girls were just a faceless mass of self absorption. one of them could speak cuban. another was on americas next top model. all of them were aspiring actresses and models who could care less about the two gentlemen from oregon. or where ever. so, with dozens of drinks under our belts and a few trips to the most amazing smelling bathroom in existence, ben and i were ready to hit up canal and bourbon street. hedonism was calling.

to be continued at a later date...