09.29.08 - 7:04 pm

right now i pick up ashton from school on wednesdays at 225. thursday morning i drive with him out to beaverton to clean a fish tank and then get him to school by noon, and then go immediately to work. i pick up ashton again around 715 that night. every other week i have a clients tank to clean in lake oswego on the way home. friday mornings i have another clients tank to clean, and then get ashton to school by noon.

i dont see him again til wednesday afternoon.

so i suggested that maybe i could pick him up sunday evenings, after 5 when i get off work, and drop him off at school thursday mornings. or even wednesday evenings. that would give me all day monday and all day wednesday to spend time with him, since those are my days off. sarah typically has thursdays or fridays off, and she rarely works before 3 pm. she said she would think about it.

a week went by so i decided to bring up if she had given any thought to my request. she said no, that wasnt going to work and asked if i was going to write about it in my journal.
you read my journal, eh?

and the following is what came of that:

sarah: no, i dont read it but i know how you work. and your house is not stable. its in a bad area. its not organized or clean. you dont even have a kitchen table. you eat dinner on the couch watching television!!?? if you think its in his best interest youre kidding yourself. i dont think its even SAFE for him to be riding in the car seat you provide for him to say the least because it is fit for a toddler and ashton is 5. im not looking at something fair. im talking about in the best interest of your son, consistancy, stability and health. he lives here, this is his home. its where he attends school and sports, its where he goes to and from the doctor, its where he spends and has always spent most of his life. you need to start understanding that. you are the dad that sees him weekend times. you should have put your foot down in the beginning if you wanted it any other way. and/or make some dramatic changes in your home life.

me: dont you see how ridiculous you sound? its this way because you wont let it be any other way. no matter how hard i try. you wont even let me get my name on the birth certificate, when there is no reason why i shouldnt already be on there. i implore you to prove i live in a dangerous area. i also have never had any say in where he goes or what he does. youve been terrible about consulting me even thought ive been actively involved in his life from the beginning. you are the one who constantly denies the obvious and makes things far more difficult and unpleasant than they need to be.

sarah: jordan, you want to meet in the middle. but you do not want to give up or sacrifice any part of your life! i involve you in every detail of ashtons outside activities and school. i dont want to hear otherwise. i make decisions in my life that regard ashton. i make decisions in his life that benefit nobody but him, im not looking to make this any easier on you. and you have not been there from the beginning, you lie to yourself if you think that. but i do think you do a good job of being involved in the things he does, and thats fantastic.

me: wednesday. lets get together with a notary. when are you available.

sarah: i will arrange for your name to be the birth certificate in the near future.

me: no, near future is you putting this off so you can do something else. ive been very patient with you on this. im ready. there is no reason to delay.

sarah: the "name" on the BC has nothing to do with your title as a parent...i will arrange it.

me: i know that. thats not what im concerned with. im concerned with my rights as a parent, not my title.

sarah: what do you mean rights? what rights are you not receiving that you should be entitled?