12.29.08 - 10:22 am

the time between is too far. i have to reach farther and farther to connect the dots in time.

im going to go get a cup of coffee, and come back to finish this.

christmas. christmas morning had been a particularly touchy subject when it came to acquiring ashton. last year sarah brought me to tears with frustrating rejections to my hopes. i just wanted to wake up with ashton, watch his excitement as he rushed downstairs and saw the presents spread out. to see him excited that the cookies and milk were gone that he had left out the night before. and then to have him with my family as we all opened gifts.
to this sarah said no. she was the mom. what she wanted for the best of ashton was him to be with her christmas morning. i just need to start dealing with realizing that.

so i called dusty. he explained that he sees it from my side, but that sarah was just going through a tough time with her family right now, and that i should just let her get her way this year. i decided to be patient.

hey sarah,
in keeping with our current schedule, tuesday falls on the 23rd and christmas is that thursday. i would like to keep ashton until the afternoon of the 25th. the last two christmases youve had him until roughly 330 or so, so i could drop him off sometime around then if you would like. let me know what you think.

thank you
jordan

As with most holidays, and how things have been the last 4 christmases, christmas this year will supersede any current schedule we have.
Ashton will be here christmas eve, and i will gladly take him to wherever you are christmas day, at any time! please let me know what works best for you that day! any other days that week you would like to have him, in order to make up for the days he will be with me for holiday, is fabulous. If no make-up days work within that frame, then he can surely spend 2 extra nights with you the following week during christmas break.

THANK YOU SO MUCH,
Sarah

and then following emails contained things like:

"I do not recall any continued efforts in you wanting to spend christmas eve and morning with ashton? as far as I remember it has always been something that has fallen in to place with no trouble what so ever! there is no compromising needed for this matter this year, im simply going off of the consistancy of the past 5 years. in any reality of this holiday time, it is only about what is best for our lovely son, in noting that the struggle for consistancy has been completely irational, we will continue to follow
through with what holidays have been like in the past. ashton will have wonderful memories with you christmas day, i suggest you do note you WILL be spending time with him on the christmas holiday like you have been for the past 5 years. ashton would be extremely dissapointed if he didnt get the holiday he has had for the past 5 years. i am always rational, in knowing what is in the best intrest of ashton."

"I am going to have to explain christmas to Ashton. I am not going to say why or who made what decision. Just going to explain the basic schedule. I know he will be a little upset, as christmas at such a young age is of huuuuge importance. Please accept his reactions to his reactions only and not try placing blame on me, or dusty, and our family
on the sittuation."

the latter statements reflecting a dramatic change in how things have been. i talked to collin, explained to him it would be nice to have christmas with my son. he said, at this point i need to pick my battles. i told him, it wouldnt be the end of the world if i didnt get him this christmas morning but that i havent ever had one and....

ok, then ill let her attorney know you want ashton christmas morning. we will offer it as another opportunity for her to be reasonable.

and then it happened. obviously sarah was quite upset. acting as if ashton suddenly was going to be devastated, confused and crushed about his christmas.

but he wasnt. he wasnt at all.

he woke us all up at 8. he was loud. he was excited. he ran down to see all the new presents under the tree, to see the milk and cookies eaten, and then came back to tell me as i laid in bed.

julie and i spent the night at my parents house, after a delicious meal surrounded by all sorts of family. jill back from sweden. torgen. whitney. cacey and her fiance david. grandpa. grandma jane. maison. mike. mom. julie and ashton. it was all very nice.

he would later try to hand out gifts to everyone, struggling to read the names on the cards. he did well...ish. jillian was called in to help. he passed over the shirts and sweaters and books almost immediately. i didnt have time to even notice that hed opened them. but the megatron, the bionacle and the board games he couldnt take his eyes off of. and of course they had to be opened immediately.

he would later give everyone hugs and exclaim that this was the best christmas hed ever had.

just what i had hoped for. just what i knew he could have. there wouldnt be any problems letting him share an intimate christmas morning with his father. i was rewarded two fold: my son on christmas morning and a slew of emails showing her demands as completely self centered and only in her best interest.

he still has unopened presents from his grandfathers evening christmas party, the one he usually attends. apparently theres a really good one in there somewhere, according to my dad.

i dropped him off at 1 pm exactly as decided. and that was that.

and i have collin and grandfather to thank for it. and, in some small way, sarah for handing me papers that necessitated me getting an attorney to fight her.