05.17.09 - 9:29 am

i hung paintings in my house. two monets. one van gough. my favorite hangs above my desk. i have 650 thread count sheets. they feel nice. theres another set of sheets in my closet. i dont think i have any old college sheets any more. julies made short work of them. but i do enjoy.

im getting laid off in august. if not before. im already taking a week of unpaid vacation a month. a furlough if you will. joel is closing the store or selling it. but the only real serious buyer is legally blind. joel doesnt think the bank will be able to give him the loan to purchase the shop. fingers crossed. im glad this is occurring while im trying to prove to the court system im a reliable and responsible parent worthy of 50% my own childs time. im glad im finally back on a job market dominated by a 12% unemployment rate. im glad there are a plethora of jobs available at $8 and $9 an hour. and 900,000 other people who all want them. i sincerely wish i had a degree in electrical engineering. i want to work in energy.

in another month ill have four great people within arms reach. so much potential.

my research study diet has become torturous. the food is oily. greasy. terrible. this is the high fat long chain portion of the study. theres too much gross food. im finding my fridge filling up with stuff i pretend ill get too later. seven more days. saturday at 9 pm im out the door and straight into 24 hour hotcake house for some steak and hashbrowns. followed the next day by lots of corn on the cob. i was so thrilled to see it back on the shelves of safeway. thrilled i tell you.

i reread a stack of printed journal entries im sending sarahs attorney. past experiences detailing what i feel reflects sarahs ability to parent. i hope some of it is exceptionally damaging. with my hard drive lifeless, i am unable to pull out alot of other saved documents that would have sincerely helped my cause. but ill make due without them.

sarah continues to be condescending, dismissive, irrational and uncooperative. she hurts my feelings. she makes me angry. she humiliates me. constantly.

but, like richard, i have infinite patience.