05.18.09 - 10:05 am

may 12th, 2009
Sarah,
I would like to get some plans together for Ashton's birthday and a summer schedule.

Last year you had Ashton for his birthday as well as the days surrounding it, this year I would like to celebrate it with him. I suggest I will pick him up the afternoon of Monday the 13th and drop him off at your house sometime around 9 am on Saturday the 18th.

As for a summer schedule, Mondays at 10 am to Thursdays at 12pm would be fine with me. With at least one weekend a month. This would start the 22nd of June, the week following his last day of class. We can discuss locations to drop off and pick up.

The 4th of July falls on a weekend this year, and being you had him last year, I want him this year. Consider that my weekend for the month. Fathers day is also on a weekend I would want to have Ashton in June. Ive included a calendar to show you. Note that it has whole days completely blocked out when sometimes it's just till morning.

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may 16th, 2009
sarah,
just a follow up email in regards to ashtons summer schedule and birthday plans. first off, can you let me know that you received it? as this is my year to have him on his birthday, ive already arranged some ideas and want to secure the date. i also want to discuss with you organizing the invitation of his school friends. Since we havent done combined birthdays in the past, i suggest the parent who has ashton on his birthday get to plan the "friends" birthday party. how does that sound to you? however we work this out, i want to be included in the planning of such events.

second, a correction to the summer schedule i had previously stated. instead of june 22nd, i had intended to write june 1st, as the calendar i attached had showed. with this schedule im hoping to get him enrolled in swim classes among other activities this summer, since last year my time with him didnt allow it.

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may 16th, 2009
jordan

i appreciate you wanting to get on board for summer schedule. and the
calendar is very impressive, although at this point in time i see no reason
as to why we would change the current schedule
so as far as tuesday-thursday goes, that will
stay the same through the summer, of course.

i do however think this may be the perfect opportunity to excersize
the weekend schedule a bit. as for fathers day, that's obviously a given.
we can switch your normal tuesday-thursday schedule to that weekend
instead. also, 4th of july and ashton's birthday fall on 2 weekends
in july, so i think it'd be great if you had him 4th of july weekend, and then again
through his birthday, although tuesday after your off work on the 14th
would be better, and more convenient for you, and him, being that you work
that day and dont have daycare :)

on top of all of the schedule changes, im sure your working the same
amount of hours on the same days. so before any of this gets set in
stone you need to please, send me the schedule you think best fits
ashton as far as daycare goes before we make any final decisions.
keeping him at your work just is not appropriate. and on that note,
we are going to have to figure something similar out for tuesdays as
well, you weren't honest with me to begin with or i just assumed you
had that day off now, so if you'd like to arrange to have your mom or
sister or some family member pick him up that day, get some time with
him, and spend time with him that's great. just let me know what
the schedule is and the information weekly, or else i think it'd be
better for ash if he just stayed at home with us until you're off.

i will be planning a birthday party for ashton and his friends, if you want to
have one on his birthday, thats fine, whatever.
or you could show up to ours. but i dont want to
combine birthday parties. i think that's weird. sorry.

im looking to get ashton into swimming lessons at the ymca
before i sign him up, i want to make sure you'd be able to participate
if we choose to do a every day for 2 weeks program and you've
got him on your days and he's got swim. if not, let me know
and i'll plan on doing it on days you WILL NOT have him. and likewise
to you if you'd like to sign him up for a summer activity that falls
on the day you have him, that's great! he'd really enjoy it. its nice
seeing you finally step up to the plate when it comes to fun things
for ashton.

sarah thornton

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may 17th, 2009
sarah,
the reason i contact you in regards to these matters is not so i can have you tell me how you want it. or how i should be allowed to parent. i attempt to have an open dialogue with you where i am allowed a voice and an option to make decisions. you simply telling me how its going to be is no longer appropriate.

the reason we would change the schedule is because ashton will no longer be in school. and you have repeatedly mentioned allowing ashton to enjoy expanded time with me during the summer, ie your deposition and mediation. my schedule, which you are confused about, is now more open and so it would be completely appropriate us to have more time together. i currently do not work mondays and wednesdays. that is the same. however now i am alternating taking sundays and tuesdays off. there was a day when ashton came to work with me, only because joel was sick and i covered for him. of the tuesdays i am working, my mom has offered to pick him up from school and watch him til i am off work. i hope that clears up any confusion you may have about my schedule. again, i would like to emphasize that my job allows me freedoms that most other parents do not have. i get to spend time with ashton while im at work, watch and interact with him and also get paid for it. he happily interacts with customers, he learns about wildlife and him and i are able to still read, draw and get outside. when i was ashtons age, i was up at 6 am and spent the day landscaping with my father. its not so unusual nor is it, again, unsafe or inappropriate for him.

yes, i look forward to getting some weekends with ashton. and to your daycare comment, i can get daycare anytime i want. youve made it clear to me however that if i was to put ashton in daycare, youd just pull him out because youd rather him with you. so it was always difficult for me to initiate a relationship with a daycare provider under that threat.

as for his birthday, i never suggested we combine them. i explicitly said that we do not do that. what i did suggest was that we alternate who gets to incorporate his school friends with his birthday parties. why are you not interested in doing that? it puts the parents of ashtons friends in a weird spot if their child is going to two parties for the same child. youre "thats fine, whatever" comment is obviously dismissive of my plans and feelings and uncooperative. again this is you telling me how its going to be instead of being reasonable and fair.

im not finally stepping up to the plate sarah. im not finally getting on board. what i am doing is what ive always done, attempting to get ashton split between us both while including you and imploring you to be more mature in your relationship with me. i feel like i finally have some ability to tell you that you cant always dictate to me how i will parent. again, i tell you i want to sign up ashton for swimming, and you tell me youre going to. why cant i do it? why cant he take swim lessons at my house and YOU come to see HIM? i would think that is entirely appropriate considering the number of times youve signed him up for things near you and ive managed to attend. to remind you, you requested i get ashton more during the summer, thus a wonderful opportunity for ashton to be enrolled in programs up here where you can come to us to share the experience. something ive been completely unable to do in the past because of the limited amount of time i was allowed with ashton in past summers.

jordan