06.29.09 - 8:44 am

when things go well, i write less. i suppose it correlates with amount of things to complain about and motivation to write. more complaints equates to a stronger motivation to record. then there are the sparse moments such as these, when im laying in bed waiting for my coffee to cool, knowing i have memories and thoughts i want to record and have found the subtle yet necessary motivation to get it all down. i think ill break these down into brief segmented thoughts.

the allergies are still around. ive spent 20 dollars on ten claritin pills over the past month. they seem surprisingly effective. but im hesitant to believe it. i dont wake up with my eyes burning and bloodshot. i wake up breathing on my own and not needing my afrin. i feel like the intense part of the season for me is waning, im on my way out. and i am pleased. i am tired of carrying around this little bottle of afrin like some sort of inhaler. or cocaine cocktail. i often find myself in a dialogue with my myself about my potential addiction to the stuff. about its damaging effects to my nasal cavities. im quite dismissive.

end of a brief thought.