09.29.09 - 9:43 am

today is the culmination of one of the most important elements of my custody conflict.

with $500 of my grandmothers inheritance, i paid for a custody and parenting time evaluation. i covered sarahs share of the bill, because if i hadnt, i would not have gotten my name on the list already eight people long. having an evaluator would significantly bolster my case, if in my favor, according to my attorney.

so then i waited.

weeks went by and a letter arrived. i was now number ten in the queue for an evaluation. there was a real possibility that i would not see an evaluator before the trial date, perhaps not even within 12 months. i was not pleased. i was not interested in delaying my trial any further.

a few more weeks went by and with breath takingly large bills continuously arriving from my attorney, i felt it was time to pull my money from the city of hillsboro and donate it to my lawyer instead.

then another letter arrived. david, my evaluator had introduced himself and chosen sarah and i a date to meet him. to begin the process.

we met several times. he came to my house. he spoke with julie. russell and ashton.

weeks later i would write him an 8 page email detailing concerns i had in regards to sarah and her parenting.

i would get a phone call on friday from david with some follow up questions. his report would be done the following tuesday.

today.

this document will detail his observations. after three individual interviews with both sarah and i, david will take what we said and how we said it to compose a narrative about how we interact as parents. how we say we act as parents. and what sort of backgrounds we come from. from the activity he observed sarah and ashton and myself and ashton engaging in, david will have an understanding of how each household functions and how ashton functions within it. hes taken our respective concerns and written down how each parent handles them.

then he hands his report to the judge presiding over the thornton v noe case. the judge is not supposed to open the document until the morning of the trial, just in case a settlement is arranged beforehand. a summary of the document, with davids recommendations are sent to each respective attorney. this summary is the tangible bargaining chip used to sway the direction of ashtons future.

if the report has many favorable things to say about me, for example, my attorney and i can use it against sarah. recommend that she not pursue trial, save ourselves thousands of dollars and just settle because chances are the judge would side heavily with the evaluation recommendation. knowing sarah, she may choose to proceed to trial anyways. just to spite me. just to spite herself out of ignorance.

if the report has many favorable things to say of sarah however, this could pose a problem for me. it would basically be the end of the road. there would be no point in going to trial and spending $10,000 in ten hours just to have a judge repeat what was recommended in the evaluation. sarahs behavior over the last six years would be immediately validated. and she would not let me forget it.

and most likely, id be the weekend dad sarah always wanted and i always hoped id never be.

Morning Jordan,
I left a voicemail with the evaluator yesterday to check on the status of the report.� He was out yesterday and returned my call this morning.� He will be wrapping up your report today (working on it probably into the late afternoon).� He will send a copy of his recommendations out today or tomorrow.� I'll let you know as soon as they are received.�
I also confirmed he will make himself available to the attorneys should we wish to have a conference call to address any questions left unanswered by the recommendations. His comment to me was he would prefer to see your case settle.
Best,
Collin

PS I just charged you $40 for reading this. xoxo