11.13.09 - 8:42 am

ive been listening to "something i can never have" by nine inch nails with greater frequency. the somber and urgent piano underlying the lyrics creates the unsettling mood that creeps into my last seven days.

the police have been called in response to sarah and dustys irrational behavior now four times since friday the 6th.

twice they were called on friday night. ashton told me he was inside being watched by his cousin rachel while dusty and sarah were in the car outfront their condo. they were having a verbal argument. dusty pushed sarahs face into the window. sarah held on to dustys arm until he called the police. ashton said he heard his mom tell rachel this, when she didnt know he was listening.

so the police came. and asked questions. and then left.

they were called back shortly after for unknown reasons.

when ashton told me this, i immediately went to the sherwood police to get a copy of the police report. i left a message with the officer who was involved. and then i waited.

i didnt hear anything back until wednesday night, when the officer involved returned to work for his graveyard shift. he couldnt tell me much because of the ongoing investigation. but he told me that the police had been called back to sarahs house just tonight. that as we spoke there was an additional call out to their residence. he said there were now three police reports out there i would need to try to get ahold of. i was floored. what the fuck was going on over there? why hadnt i received a single phone call from any police officer or official agency to inform me what was occurring in environments my son lived in?

so my mom and mike called the officer, hoping to use their clout to get more information out of him. they didnt get much except that it seems both dusty and sarah are trying to get each other arrested. mike said that when ashton isnt with me, he is with dustys parents.

i dont usually have trouble sleeping. i did wednesday night. with a murder suicide in tualatin and yet another in beaverton, thoughts spread to include those scenarios of dusty or sarah angry and vengeful. and completely irrational.

i woke up at 8 am thursday and immediately made calls to the department of human services. sherwood police called to let me know i wouldnt be able to get the police reports because they were handed over to DHS and i would need to go through them. i called ashtons school to see if he was actually present: he was.

at DHS i was angry that they were contacted and had contacted sarah but not me. i found out the name of the case worker. and when he didnt answer his phone i spoke with his supervisor. she informed me that they werent notified until late monday night after an altercation. one i hadnt been made aware of yet. that sarah and dusty were experiencing the end of their relationship and were having a difficult time getting custody of arthur figured out between themselves.

monday night, when ashton was with me, sarah and dusty were driving to dustys parents house. when they got there, dusty took arthur and left sarah with the keys. sarah was angry. she drove her durango into dustys moms car. police were called. when police arrived, sarah was cleared of any malicious intent with the collision and it was deemed an accident. a rather coincidental accident considering the events leading up to it.

DHS made up some excuses why i wasnt contacted, the holiday, the lateness of the initial report. they acknowledged three police reports: two on friday, one on monday. the officer said there were three reports too, but that that one was on wednesday night. i assumed he was confused.

dusty is not staying at their condo anymore. they may have even said hes moved out. DHS has spoken with dusty. they asked me if i was aware of sarah being on medication. i said no. they asked if i was aware of any problems with sarah and alcohol. i said no. i asked them if these were leading questions, suggesting or implying that she was having problems with either. they said no. they said that these were notations on her profile DHS had and how they had to follow up on them. when i asked what medication she was on and for what, kelly the supervisor whispered to neil the case worker, "no no no we cant tell him that" just as he was about to. so they dodged the question but then followed it with, "are you aware of sarah taking any prescription opiate medications?" no. but to me that signaled neils veiled answer to my initial question. i asked them if they were aware that dusty had pushed sarahs face into the car window, they said no. they asked about abuse, if i knew when dusty and sarah started having problems. i told them i knew their relationship would end like this, i just didnt think it was going to be last weekend.

neil was going to visit ashton at school. ask him some questions and gather his emotional feelings on the matter. then he would call me later that day.

with that over with, i called collin. we discussed delaying the settlement signing and agreement, since it was due today. i informed him what i knew and he suggested that it might be just enough to cause our presiding judge to grant me temporary custody until sarah gets her problems worked out.

then i went to pick up ashton at school. this is when he told me that there was infact a fourth incident involving police. wednesday night. the officer wasnt confused. wednesday night, ashton explained, dusty was supposed to come over at 6 to pick up arthur. when he showed up at 4 and demanded arthur, sarahs grandmother refused and dusty pushed her down. according to ashton, he said he saw it since he was standing right there. he told me about neils visit. and how he told him that sarah and dusty fight all the time and that julie and i never do. ashton turned to me and asked me why that was, almost as if it was so unusual to have people who lived together not fight all the time.

i made some more calls and left more messages at DHS while ashton played outside.

when neil called me back after 6 pm, he disappointed me. he had spoken with dusty and dustys parents. he had only gone to sarahs house and left his card when she did not answer. i asked if he needed sarahs phone number, he said no. i asked if he had scheduled a meeting with her, he said no. and he seemed ok with that and unconcerned, even a bit annoyed that i asked him if he needed her phone number. neil said that because both sarah and dusty appear to be making decisions to improve their situation, there was no cause for alarm. in spite of the altercations, in spite of the police involvement four times in the last six days, because dusty has moved out and they both have more rational adult parties accompanying them to exchanges of arthur, there was no reason to intervene. that because ashton seemed only concerned with the changes associated with dusty living somewhere else and didnt have any further concerns at sarahs or at my house, there was no reason to intervene.

i asked him why he didnt have the ability to step in, get ashton out of the situation to buffer him against witnessing all these problems and he verbally shrugged. apparently all he can do is observe and report. i explained that i thought it was psychologically damaging to have ashton around car accidents, police and arguing and that this will not end with sarah and dusty. they are just starting this whole new episode. again, a verbal shrug over the phone. he cant remove ashton and grant custody unless he is in imminent danger of physical harm. he didnt sound like he couldnt do anything. he sounded like he wouldnt do anything. i was supposed to let sarah pick up ashton friday from school. i didnt want him going back to her. it was inevitable that dusty would interact with sarah again, and probably negatively. he agreed that the steps i was taking with my attorney to get temporary custody of ashton was the right thing to do, and to continue with that. he couldnt do anything about fridays exchange. neil was very annoying. sheepish and unempathetic. i suppose he dealt with ten cases just like mine today, and does so every day. how hard it must be to connect to just one.