05.22.11 - 2:43 pm

he started complaining sunday night.

his teeth hurt. his head hurt. his eye hurt. his stomach hurt. with such a laundry list of complaints it usually signals a lack of sleep or a need for extra attention after coming home from a weekend with his mom. he looked fine. he acted fine, in spite of his whimpers. when he was unable to sleep that night because of some mysterious pain in his eye, i figured he had just scratched it over the weekend and was unable to stand the irritation. he would lay in bed crying in agony, and julie and i were helpless to ease it. all we could do was walk him back to his bed, rub his back softly and try to comfort him. this was an all night process, much to my bodies displeasure. i finally just fell asleep in his bed in hopes that would be enough to just get him through the night. it worked. the next day, he moved slow after his morning shower. he complained still about his eye, but it looked no different than it ever had. i forced him to school and he obliged with silent discomfort. the school would call me less than an hour later explaining ashton was in the nurses office crying about eye pain. sarah would say maybe it had something to do with him breaking rocks in the backyard of her grandparents house. ashton would say arthur scratched his eye while wrestling. but there was no scratch. no grit lodged under his eye lid. just the pain he expressed and the fever he had developed. he slept a lot while we drove around to clients that monday morning and julie would generously offer to take him back home and watch him. he laid around the house and didnt eat much. cried about the pain in his eye and head. by that night, his eye had actually began to swell up, like a bee sting or black eye. we repeated the same sleepless evening, with tears, headaches, eye pain and some medicine to help his fever and pain. i slept briefly that night, again in his bed, his legs squirming and shuffling the entire duration.

the following morning i kept him from school again, but because of the dramatic swelling around his eye, we hastily made our way to his doctor. the doctor seemed a bit dumbfounded at what was going on. he said the tears coming from the swollen tissue would imply that there was something in the eye that it was trying to flush out. he said ashtons eye was actually fine, it wasnt red with irritation or damage. it was just swollen around it for a reason we couldnt pin point. some sort of bacterial infection was the diagnosis. the doctor wrote out a prescription for some antibiotics and sent us on our way. at the pharmacy, i didnt have my insurance information and was prepared to pay the twenty bucks or so for his medication just out of of pocket. when i was told the augmentin was an $86 antibiotic, i made sure to get the necessary information from care oregon. before we checked out, i added a $20 alligator thermometer but only had to pay five bucks total for the whole package. praise allah for free health insurance from the state of oregon. ashton would spend the rest of the day whimpering and sleeping at my mothers as she offered to play nurse while i worked. he used the time it took to walk up her driveway to put his hand up to his eye and begin a soft sob, a clever act that my mother knowingly accommodated as any good grandmother would for their sick grandchild.

you would have thought the antibiotics were laced with poison. ashton so adamantly refused his two tablespoon a day dose of medication, it almost seemed easier for him to endure the pain of his eye. he would immediately cry, gag, spit up, to the point my inner compassionate dialogue started shouting with impatience.

by thursday morning, the swelling had not subsided, some 48 hours after he started antibiotics. this was unusual. his activity and appetite had increased however his eye was still completely swollen shut. a fleshy mass of purple and red. i bought him a black eye patch and on a piece of paper i drew a skull and cross bones, cut it out and glued it on the outside much to his delight. i was so impressed with how confident he remained about his physical appearance, never was he shy or try to hide his face for fear of being embarrassed or made fun of. i do not look forward to insecurity developing inside him in the years to come.

concerned for the lack of progress though, i took him back to the doctor for a follow up. this new doctor was equally concerned there hadnt been progress since starting the antibiotics. regardless, i think he was sure it was an allergic reaction and wanted ashton to admit his eye itched. he asked him at least fifteen times during the observation. stumped for an explanation to what ashton was going through, we were handed a referral to the casey eye institute to see an eye specialist for a second opinion.

there, ashton saw an older hobbit like doctor who, after leaving us alone in the examining room for 30 of the 40 minutes we were there, decided there was a chance the bacteria infecting the tissue around ashtons eye was resistant to the broad spectrum antibiotic hed been taking and needed something with a bit more kick. he suggested we immediately head to the ER and have him stay the night hooked up to an IV filled with a much more potent antibiotic.

wow. this was not what i had anticipated sunday night while ashton appeared to be feigning a sore eye. nor did i want to spend the best sunny day of the week inside a bunch of doctors offices. such is the life of a parent, so it goes.

we headed down to the pediatric ER at ohsu, got ashton in a room and told his story to a handful of nurses, doctors and staff. none of this was concerning to ashton. he was thrilled. even after they told him they would put a needle in his arm, he was more concerned about who would come visit him. while i relayed the update to my mom over the phone, he wanted me to ask if she would come be his guest. the staff there was incredibly sweet and compassionate. ashton really wanted everyone to know his mom was coming to see him. the blue gauze and IV catheter in his hand was fascinating to him, but not so much as the microscopic particle of his blood trapped in some of the clear plastic he insisted everyone look at.

sarah arrived with her grandparents that evening and after joe and kathy left julie showed up with board games, pajamas and a box of round table pizza. it was the longest amount of time id spent around sarah in years. it was absolutely fascinating watching her and julie and ashton all interact. i think ashton especially enjoyed his three favorite people all surrounding him with attention simultaneously. and it was pretty great, even if sarah seemed a bit uncomfortable and awkward. the four of us played the game of life until about 945 when julie and i decided to head home and let sarah spend the night with him in the hospital room. with dozens of nurses and doctors buzzing right outside his hospital room, i kissed him goodnight and went home. my week as a parent complete.