07.28.11 - 10:45 pm

oh you. you still sit here. waiting for anything. struggling to stir me to record the things you experienced in your youth. sadly, you will sit there in the dark, quietly sobbing into your hands that the gaps between your recorded existence will remain painfully absent. ok, lets recap quickly and see what happens.

you missed out on the allergies. i don't blame you. i was disgusting. leaking constantly from my nose. blood shot eyes swollen and sealed every morning. nearly a constant supply of afrin being pumped into my nostrils, immediately followed by soul crushing sneezes and a deluge of thick foamy yellow syrup. i was deplorable. i sealed myself indoors. no longer could i drive with my windows down. sealed in my mobile hyperbaric chamber with the ac on�.i disgusted myself. but then, slowly the need for afrin waned. no longer was its place required in my left pocket every morning. just five weeks of socially unacceptable discomfort.

then there was that new job i acquired.

Aqua Team,
While I am aware that Joel will be talking to you individually about this difficult decision, I felt it was important to share a couple of important things with you....
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First, our team, our division, will only ever be as good as the team members. I am looking for "A" players and am expecting "A" performance. I am not going to accept anything less and neither should you. I expect you, at all times, to represent well and make the most of the tools you have been given. No exceptions. You will never keep your job here because of tenure, seniority, or because you are "a good guy". You will keep your job here because you are a solid team player, honest, hard working, you contribute daily, you are tenacious about taking care of our customers and successfully selling our products, and, importantly, you make the Team/Division better every day. That's the formula for a long and successful career at Sunlight.
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Second, Neither Joel nor I are going to allow a Team member not to hold up there end of the deal.....particularly if they have been given the tools and the mentoring to get the job done. It is for that reason that Richard is no longer with us. It is not fair to the rest of you to allow unacceptable performance to continue. It only brings the team down and inhibits our ability to move forward. While I like Richard personally and sincerely wish him nothing but the best in his future, he was not capable of performing to the standards set forth when he was originally hired or as laid out recently at our national sales meeting.
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We have a business to run, and one in which I have invested heavily and have a great deal of pride. I only want the best for each of you. For those of you who are still on the team, you are here for a reason. Thank you for all you do.
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Rob

that was received day one. motivating, certainly. but quite stirring as well. joel had just spent the last week in southern california with our west coast sales rep, the most prolific region of the country for aqua sales. joel spent a week with the guy, and fired him after spending seven whole days with him. poor guy. didn't even know it was coming. but�i did, even as i spoke with him on the phone prior to joel flying down there. then, theres rob. joel is my boss. rob is joels boss. rob is fantastic. every time i listen to him speak, i am so motivated to achieve that any goal i imagine seems easy to accomplish. but then the feeling fades and im stuck with problems beyond my control, and expected to fix as though i caused them. rob has become part of a break room joke. joel will say, "i must be the richest employee at sunlight�because im constantly being robbed." referring of course, to the incredible amounts of time required when summoned by rob. a simple phone call will last an hour. an office meeting will take half a day. the man talks without ever wavering in his dedication and enthusiasm for the company.

i do enjoy my job. so much more than i expected. for so many years, dozens of vendors held my esteem as being "a quality recommendable business". great livestock, awesome prices. as a consumer, these places were magical and mysterious. and now, they call me to order stuff. i sell to them. i speak with their curators, their ceos, their managers, their employees, their customers�i do it all. its really a riot being on the other end of the deal. im meeting people i had only heard about, people who are revered within the industry. having them say, "oh hey, whats up man?" when they realize its me on the phone tickles me with delight. the allure has yet to wear off.

the drive however, leaves much to be desired. i work 8 to 5. i leave the house by seven am. im not home till six pm. im giving eleven hours out of my day to this company. this is upsetting. i come home and have barely enough time to recharge before im expected to make dinner, pick up my clothes, start a load of laundry, put the dishes away, take the garbage out, vacuum the family room, play tennis at the park, go to the grocery store�.the list continues but usually always ends with me sitting on the couch immediately after walking in the door, too unmotivated to do anything but relax. sit. listen to what my son did without me. and unwind for the evening. i try to be in bed by 11. i don't get a lot done between six and eleven pm. after the major responsibilities are handled. fish tank stuff. reading. movies. video games. anything i invest my sole attention to is usually pushed off for more pressing concerns. which is fine. but now i know why couples isolate themselves from social activities and facebook event requests. there just isn't enough time to squeeze anything else in. i don't want to become like that. ill squeeze life in between somehow goddamnit.

ok. first update complete. more to come. see you in three months.

jaaay kaaay.