11.12.01 -

devient behavior is against the norm. standing facing the door watching the numbers on an elevator is the norm. devient behavior is to bring a loaded automatic weapon to school with the intent of brutally murdering fellow students. a plane crashed in new york today. later today ill probably know why. should i really expense? (what i really meant to write: should i really expect an answer?) would i be better if i read it? or would i be no better off? even julia couldnt help. she just gave up. i was actually surprised and hurt even. shes supposed to do anything she could till i felt better. i would for her. id die for her. can hunger be fulfilled by thought? in the ways of health i believe i am doomed to irony. what i fail to contract and/or have harm me now will befall me ten fold later. physical deformity. i sure hope not. a perpetuated future in which i could skip around through with thought. in order to see jupiter from a few miles away. or artificial intelligence. dinosaurs and oceans of sea monsters. look john wilkes booth in the eyes a moment before he struggles to hop away from his assasination. and such. you know, the likes. history. thought. time travel. but only me. i wouldnt screw it up. or maybe all we know today is because i screwed up. damnit.