02.26.02 - 3:21 am

i feel no different than i did three hours ago.

but three hours ago i was completely clothed. and i wasnt laying next to a beautiful young lady. and things tend to happen when clothing is removed in the dark when no one else is around.

i feel like taking a shower and doing some laundry and maybe going for a run. calling up my friend nathan. thats how i feel right now, and in a sense i feel guilty about not feeling differently.

it was so quick. did she even really want to? i feel insecure. shes...seen everything.

during moments of emotional tsunamis, anger, heartbreak, boredom, confusion, i tend to get tired. really tired. it allows me to procrastinate even with thought. its an annoying affliction. and right now, instead of trying to dissect how i feel about my evening, about how she feels, and how our past significant others would feel, im wishing i was asleep out in the middle of a desolate grass field in the warmth of the sun and the teasing touch of a cool breeze. with my dogs.

three hours ago i wasnt thinking of this though.