06.22.03 - 10:27 am

i remember

"i felt it move." over a phone and over 70 miles apart. soon i would feel what she felt, only less internally.

"did you feel it?"

"no."

for several weeks she enjoyed the soft quiet flutter of life deep inside her. for me it was a struggle to feel anything.

then slowly, my fingers could feel what was becoming of my developing child.

i could feel bumps. vibrations. at first it was nothing more than a light breeze against my fingers, did i feel something? or did i imagine it? weekly the movement became increasingly more tangible.

now i can watch sarah, and be distracted by the almost constant jolt of clothing around her stomach. shes large. her legs and arms are thin. her face is remains the same. her eyes still glow green. but she has a submarine desperately trying to push its way out of her midsection. there are two parts to sarahs massive stomach: the soft, squishy part, and the solid mass of the child. i can feel the hard bone underneath layers of two peoples skin. i can feel where the baby is, and where it is not. i can play games of tag, when the baby pushes out with a foot, or elbow or hand, i can softly push back. i flutter my fingers in a wave on her stomach, to let the baby know im there. i dont talk to it. i feel uncomfortable. embarrassed more than likely. what for? no reason. just am.

july 14th is the due date. with sarah already in 2 cm of dilation, and the babys head as far south as it can get, im thinking within the next two weeks i could be holding my own child in my arms. a tiny pink child made up of exactly half of me. 23 pairs of my chromosomes spliced together with someone else, a random assortment of genes, cells and mitochondria......into a complex life of unimaginable proportions and possibilities.

relaxation is they key.