11.15.03 - 2:10 am

wednesday. "thanks for ruining dinner."

friday. she smokes. and expects me to tolerate it. i told kim she has a lazy eye, and she responded with "...a lazy eye? like....like some sort of prospector?!" i found this exceptionally humorous.

ashton smiles. he grins. he can giggle. when he gets excited he kicks his feet, opens his mouth really wide and looks away as if he was bashful. he loves my fish tank. he loves walking around. he loves music and car rides. he loves people. he gets bored with sitting. he tries to eat his hand. he loves plastic sacks. he will wake up every morning and spend the first 20 minutes just talking to his hand.

hes annoying. his diapers smell. but he smiles. he falls asleep on my shoulders. he watches me fiddle with my fish tank and get dressed in the morning. hes alert. he loves to talk. he spits up. ive yet to see another baby as....cute, as he is.

it would be nice if he was worth quitting smoking. it would be nice if i could find a reason to give up.