09.19.04 - 6:50 pm

his eyes rolled around his head. he tumbled over my body, resting his tiny frame in different positions. he was struggling to fall asleep. he was close.

then the garage door opened below. voices echoed through the windows. then for some reason the screen of the computer blazed to life.

i looked up and he was gone. now he was parading through the bonus room, quietly talking to himself, finding small objects to entertain him.

eventually i make it here to type, and he follows, positioning himself below my desk chair with a stapler. he looks up from time to time to smile, his blue eyes, straight shiny hair. his face is perfect.

he will be a damn good looking young man one day.

hes asleep now, cradled in my arms on a couch we took a slight nap just so he could fall asleep. he hates his special little boy bed. now hes snoring, arms every which way, tummy full of rice, sweet potatoes, bread, milk, water, banana and a few morsels of hamburger.

ill wait a while now. wait to call sarah to verify when shell be off work. ill silently ask to spend the night, but ill end up in my own bed, and hour and a half later. exausted. sad. lonely.

at least i know my chute didnt fail today.