09.28.04 - 11:25 pm

"keep the candle lit....we'll be right back," i said slowly into the darkness. her face was somewhere infront of mine, but it didnt matter, all that was important is that she fulfilled her duties. her obligation.
i opened the door with haste and disappeared into the shadows.
i ran behind a large frieght truck to meet in a small clearing, already in position were my two companions. they stood waiting. a few feet infront of us, poorly illuminated by a stripe of orange light was the couch we had come to collect. a beacon of light from a streetlamp provided us with enough shadows to conceal us, and enough light to manuever within.
so we began.
with the soft hum of the trucks engine behind us, we each took sides of the couch. suddenly a noise off in the distance froze us solid in silence.
"listen...." and we did.
"fuck it, lets keep going..." justin barked. the sound was just as hushed as we were, so we continued.
a large cardboard cylinder several feet long lay strewn over our treasure, saddled by large bundles of plastic. i moved the large tube off and began collecting the crumpled plastic sheets and tossing them to the side as justin and brian prepared their hand holds for the lift.
and then it happened.
from the bowels of the couch itself, nestled deep within its fabrics, a camoflauged creature of the night awoke. the sleeping giant had been roused! a thunderous, almost baffled voice grunted from the cushions and took shape in the form of a human face. still cloaked in darkness, the physical features of the man were not discernable, but the shock in his voice sent panic electrifying through everyones bodies simultaneously.
"what the hell are you doing?!" his rough, weathered voice burst from a throat that had been resting deep inside the comforts of the couch we had intended to emancipate.
the four men stood staring at each other. each unsure of how to respond. each feeling the confusion...the shock....the awe. the silence and the incapacitated individuals lasted for several grueling seconds.
until the signal was given. a cry filled the air, reminescent of a woman in the grips of a brutal assault. soon the others responded with similar calls and the night air was swollen with high pitched cackles and screeches and screams of retreat. arms waving and flailing, feet scattering on the pavement, three black masses quickly scurrying back to the pickup. in the confusion of the screams and the sense of urgency in our return, jenny calmly reversed full speed. i had just enough time to get most of my torso inside the cabin before she was off. i closed the door as brian was able to land a full leap into the bed of the truck, mashing his insides with a belly flop of haste. justin hopped into the back, and protected by the walls of the truck bed, turned to face our assailant....
"back to hell with you!" he bellowed as our vehicle exploded down the alley into the lighted streets of the city.....leaving behind our prized couch and the guardian who foiled our caper. ended our mission. stole our couch.
left alone in his natural habitat, our assailant is now free to roam. to forage. to reproduce and make more hobos.
soon there will be thousands of them. and in the midst of their masses, in the swarms of flame and destruction, couches will be used as their currency.

all except one.